Counting down the pounds

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Friday, November 30, 2007

a day of realization...

Well it is the day after weigh in day and I am feeling a little better. I am sure you can tell from the one line entry last night I was pretty emotional. To be honest I went through several emotions last night. I think the first one was anxiety about weighing in. I even left work a few minutes early so I could get to the WW meeting earlier. Then I was in shock. In shock because I really and truly believed that I was going to hit the 50 pound mark this week. Then I was frustrated. I cried a lot in this stage. I was still at WW and I was trying hard to not be noticed, thankfully my WW leader did notice and she pulled me to the side after the meeting (I was trying to dash out so no one would see me crying). We had a good talk and I felt better after that. I still cried when I got to the car. Once I got home I went through a time of feeling ok. Justin and I ate dinner and then did DDR for about 10 minutes. After that I told him everything that had happened. Again more tears. After our talk I felt inspired so I danced a little more while he worked on the computer. Then I honestly started to feel angry. I got angry at the computer first because it erased my blog entry that I had typed up. And once again a lot more tears. Poor Justin, he is so good to me. He just held me and let me cry. At one point he told me I needed to stop typing in my blog for the night because I was mad and typing things out of anger. Good advice. I feel that this entry is much better. Justin was able to calm me down and he rubbed my back and played with my hair for the rest of the evening.

So you may be wondering about the whole goal of 60 pounds by December 31st. Well according to my WW leader it is still attainable; I just need to work really hard. We decided that my body has got used to the amount of exercise I do so I need to do more or work harder during the time that I do work out. One thing that she said was that I can get to my goal, but will I be happy with reaching 55 pounds by December 31st and then getting to the 60 pounds goal in January. I said yes. So while I am going to strive to still reach the 60 pounds, I will be happy with 55 pounds. I am scared though. I have a lot of Christmas parties to go to and then we are going to Florida for Christmas. Thankfully Justin’s family is very nice and understanding and I am sure will do things to help me with the WW while we are there. I have told Justin that if we eat out this month I can only go to places that I know the points of the food. I can’t take any chances. We have decided that for at least on of the Christmas parties we (or at least I will) eat dinner before hand so I don’t give in to things that I can’t figure out the points to.

Ok, so that is about it. It is a long one today, but I feel better after typing this out. Please pray more than ever for me. Not just that I can get to my goal, but that I won’t give up and that I can continue on after my goal is reached. Because I know that this is only one hurdle I will have to jump in this journey. There will be plenty more I am sure!

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

You can do it my sweet sister! I believe in you and am praying for you non-stop. You are already an inspriation to those around you and will continue to be. I love you!--Jennifer

Teresa said...

Jessica....you have to look at the whole picture. You have climbed mountains to get where you are today. Keep climbing and DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! I love you and I do pray for you daily. Teresa